The Hotel California

Josh and Mia left Medellin on Tuesday, February 17. Needless to say I was feeling pretty down being separated from my family, but at the same time I was falling in love with this little gift of a baby. Plus, I was extremely hopeful that I would receive my sentencia (final adoption decree) in a few days and would be heading off for the next leg of my journey, the American Embassy in Bogota.

I spent quite a lot of time tooling around the hotel with Fanny waiting for the phone to ring. It was hard to be patient when all I wanted was to get out of Medellin and bring my baby home safely. The Hotel Intercontinental is a lovely place with a terrific pool, great food and nice people, but you are surrounded by a barbed wire fence (meant to keep the bad guys out, not meant to keep you in!) and there are armed guards at the entrances. Still, I was sure I would soon be granted the sentencia. All my documents were in order, the judge had been holding my case on her desk for a week now, there was nothing left but for her to sign the papers and let us go.

A part of me wanted to go out and explore the city, but I was being warned at every turn to stay put and keep a low profile. I didn't really see any evidence of crime, but I guess there was a reason for all the security. Plus, I was going back and forth between two very strong emotions: On one hand, I was enjoying the bliss of getting to know and falling in love with my new baby. Taking him for a walk around the hotel, watching his face light up as he kicked his feet in the pool, holding him on my lap on a swing. But then there would be moments when I would feel so sad because I missed my daughter and my husband terribly. Despite being in such a nice place with my incredible, beautiful new baby, I felt isolated and alone.

Fanny’s sister called and said she would be flying in from Cali (another city in Colombia) to spend the weekend and Fanny asked if I was OK with the two of them staying at a friend’s vacation home. I must admit I was pretty nervous at the thought of being stranded at the hotel by myself without anyone to speak English with, but on the other hand it would provide valuable bonding time for me and Mason. I will be going back to work shortly after we return home (I’ll be understudying in a new Off-Broadway show called “Toxic Avenger”), and every moment alone with my new baby is a gift. So of course, I gave Fanny my blessing and I was happy to give her the rare chance to spend time with her sister.

That’s about when the phone rang and Gloria told me that sentencia would not be coming until the following Wednesday.

Wednesday.

A week from now. A whole week to sit here and miss my daughter and wait for the judge to find her freakin’ pen.

I'm not gonna lie to you, folks. I cried. Thank God I had the forsight to stock our hotel room with some Mommy Juice (red wine). You see I've never been a person who is OK with having time on her hands and nothing to do. Fanny is great with that kind of thing. She enjoys looking out the window and enjoying the view, or taking long walks with the baby on a sunny day. But for me, if I'm not active I get....what's the word? Ah, yes....loca.

Luckily Mrs. Altman, the director of Mason’s orphanage and a Colombian version of everyone’s Bubby, came to pick me up for lunch and a tour of the orphanage. Spending time with Raquel was quite a treat. The daughter of Romanian Jewish immigrants, she has lived most of her 60+ years in Medellin creating and then managing this orphanage. Like me, Raquel is a vegetarian and also like me, she is both an adoptive and a biological Mother.

The lunch was delicious and the distraction was welcome. But it was the second part of our excursion that really hit home for me. Just ten minutes away from this lovely and upscale Italian restaurant sits La Casa de Maria y los Ninos, the orphanage that despite all odds had done such an incredible job with Mason for the first six months of his life.

The orphanage is located on a beautiful hillside that Mrs. Altman tells me was once all trees and grass but is now speckled with residential and commercial buildings. It's one of those places where you find this strange mix in Medellin of gorgeous landscape and a slightly sloppy city.

Since I'm about a week behind in my writing, I'm going to skip the description of the orphanage for now and just go to the videotape. The only thing I'd like to say is that I've learned a bit about the situation for orphans here in Colombia. The luckiest ones are in places like La Casa....private orphanages that must conform to ICBF (government child welfare agency) standards, but are run by private directors and funded by donations and adoption fees. These children are being well cared for, and there are plenty of American, European and even South American families who want to adopt them...certainly this is true for the babies, and even for many of the older children. But recent regulations have slowed down the rate of successful adoptions to a crawl. I cannot tell you how frustrating is was to meet these gorgeous kids and to know that there are families out there who want them but can't get them because of bureaucracy and red tape. I personally know one wonderful and loving family who desperately want to adopt even an older child, but are watching doors close in their face at every turn.